you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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