According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
