I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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