I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
