Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
