he wants to bone in the snuggie
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
