At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize