Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
