dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
