i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
