But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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