people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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