he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
