Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
