Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
