If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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