I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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