this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
soo... how was my night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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