Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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