Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
