I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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