went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
