omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
