so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
