i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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