absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
