i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
