you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
