I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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