dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
