apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
