When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
