Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
