i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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