Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
