she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
