she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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