Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
