He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
