She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He has the fingertips of a God
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