had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
