this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
