The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
