Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
