Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
