Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
COCAINE IS GR8
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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