Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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