Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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