I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
