OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
