Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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