It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
