Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
