I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
