Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
