I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
