please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
