how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
