you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
