Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize