shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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