Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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