and i looked up. we had an audience...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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