No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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